The Life-Changing Room: PART ONE

It was Wednesday, Valentines Day, and I was scheduled to depart from school early. My mom, brothers and I were heading to the US border to renew our expiring visas that allow us to live in America. We have renewed the visas 3 times before and never had a problem so we thought nothing of this one particular trip.

Time passed as we sat in the chairs and listened to the voices of my mom and the officer, let's call him Tim, talk about our renewal. As people were meandering by, my attention was lost but regained as a stern voice called us through and demanded us to take a seat in the "secondary inspection" room. That's never a good thing to hear. We watched as the officer commanded my mother to fill out a piece of paper with various fields of required information. As she asked what the papers were for, they enlightened her that these papers were for withdrawal and we would not be entering back into the States that evening, or ever. What!? My school! My friends! Our house….. By this time my mom was crying, "We have our house to worry about! We can't leave now…our dog is still at home!"

            They questioned us, rather annoyed, "There's no one home with the dog? What about your husband? Ma'am, I can ask if we are permitted to give you a few days but we don't usually do this."

            "Sir, I don't have a husband. If I did, he would obviously be here with me. My children have school, what are we supposed to do?"

            "You should never have fully moved here in the first place! Every person in America on a visa should have a back up home in Canada, or any other country, waiting for them because these documents don't last long. That's your problem to deal with, not ours."

            With tears streaming down the faces of my siblings and mother, I was there to comfort. My older brother had his girlfriend to worry about, my younger brother was crying because my older brother was, and my mom had a lot to think about (job, house, our schooling, her car, and everything else). Why am I not crying along with them? We now have 10 DAYS to leave the country and … I am not shedding a tear.

Hands Reaching Out

My hand reaches out longing for relief,
My eyes swell as I wander.
I focus my mind praying for belief,
Doubt is real as I ponder.

I think of the joy that once filled my heart,
Laughter and smiles galore.
Now times are rigid and I fall apart,
The days are battles and war.

I blame myself for the times that I face,
The things I shouldn’t have done.
I wish I had a foundation and base;
A fortress, joy, just Someone.

With all the problems occupying mind,
I neglect my Saviour God.
He is calling my name, “Come, be refined.”
I’m discomfited and odd.

I open God’s word and to my surprise,
He loves all, forgave and died.
He wants me to be free, honest, and wise,
Putting downbeat thoughts aside.

Now when I struggle with hands reaching out,
God is the first one I call.
Peace fills my spirit and casts away doubt,
I know I never will fall.

--A poem I wrote this week while I was getting discouraged and questioning the moments taking place in my life. I neglected to remember that God is always there and holding me every step I take. It seems as though when circumstances deteriorate and my emotions and life is at a low, that I cloud my thoughts with everything negative and push Christ away. May I always remember to raise my hands in prayer to God for comfort, and peace will transcend over my soul.