Last night I faced a struggle that I could no longer push to the recesses of my mind. I could sense God calling me; beckoning in such a way that could not be ignored. Conviction in my heart was stirred and I am now striving to attain what I've been entitled to do. I previously asked God what He required me to do so I could grow and root myself still deeper in Him. God knows of my weaknesses and comfort zone limitations and He has asked me to extend my limits to the breaking point.
Today at school I knew unerringly what God wanted me to do...He reminded me that “If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of my Father.” Matthew 10:33. Praying in front of anyone that I know won’t understand is an existent struggle that I have yet to accomplish. Today I heard God’s voice calling and asking, “Is you’re comfort more vital than I am?” I promised Him that I would not eat my lunch at school if I couldn’t pray and show gratitude to the Lord for the food He so graciously provided for me.
Sad to say, I went without eating lunch today. I sat there with my mind off in the distance thinking of what a cowardly Christian I am and how much more I need to focus my ENTIRE being on Christ. I opened the Fountainview Academy devotional and today’s quote was from Help in Daily Living pg 26, “We are to live, not to guard our feelings or reputation, but to save souls.” God is speaking directly to me and I need not to harden my heart, but to break out of this warm little bubble I’ve surrounded myself in and proclaim His name. God obviously has a lot of work to do in my heart...but I am willing. I will still not eat lunch until I have overcome my fear of the criticism others may throw at me. He is working, now it’s my job to respond with an eager heart.
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